


You're my Family

by thesassykels66



Category: Phandom, dan and phil
Genre: 2011, College, Existential Crisis, Happy Ending, Phan - Freeform, Phan Fluff, cuteness, dans breakdown, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 09:54:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10089839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesassykels66/pseuds/thesassykels66
Summary: When Dan studies all day and all night for his upcoming Law resit, his mind starts to wander on whether or not he can actually pull this off. If he was wanting to be a lawyer, if his family would love him, if he was happy. When the words start to jumble together and his brain flicks off at 11 pm, he lashes out at his incapability to understand why he's feeling the way he is.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I know there's literally a million and one of these types of fics but I wanted to do one that didn't end in smut and is just straight fluff and adorableness so enjoy

"I can't study in my room it's too quiet" Dan mumbled, shuffling his way to the couch where sat Phil playing Spyro on the PlayStation. He slapped his papers down on the glass table, sighing as he slumped into the leather of the couch. 

"What time is your resit?"

"9 am tomorrow." He drag out a long breath.

"I can turn down the tv if you'd like"

"Nah the music is nostalgic I like it." 

They sat in silence, Dan heavily breathing through his nose, until Phil chuckled, "you know you wouldn't be cramming if you had just studied over the summer"

"okay well I didn't so shut up." 

"Just sayin', you should've listened to me."

"shut up mum." He whistled through his nose, not wanting to bring his mum to mind. Realizing that his own parents weren't that helpful; instead they were almost filled with glee knowing their son was leaving the house. Moving on, wanting to start his life as a successful lawyer. They didn't expect much of him, which is why he wanted to prove them wrong. That he can be rich and successful without their help, because he never got their help anyway. Never striving for Dan to reach his goals, never truly supportive over an achievement. Even in his highest of moments they didn't shine so brightly like he had intended them to. 

Dan shook the deprecating thought and focused on the papers at hand. He starts mumbling aloud his words as Phil moved from next to him to the chair across the room, still playing his game. Collecting rubies and jumping up steps to talk to more characters. Dan found himself watching the screen at times and then making eye contact with Phil. He then would go back to the attempt of studying. 

 _Why didn't they ever support me?_ It was hard to find something Dan liked to do as a kid. Most of the time it was video games or the beautiful glow of the internet. Climbing trees, attempting to play the piano, being with his grandma, watching YouTube videos. Making YouTube videos. Something that had some sort of valuable meaning to Dan's life was his ability to make others laugh that weren't his parents making eyes at him over the table. People that didn't think he was weird. Having Phil actually be someone who didn't want to move away from him, but actually encourage to live with him for his second term of school so he didn't have to stay in halls again. 

 _What does this all mean anyway? Sure it can bring in the cash but does it really mean anything? What's the purpose? We're all gonna die anyway, no one cares what your job was when you're dead._ The words on the pages started to blur. He looked up at Phil again, completely entranced by the screen and a battle sequence began. He could literally hear the freedom Phil was singing in his moment of prosperity, "I'm having so much fun" he would laugh. 

Dan drug out a sigh and looked at the papers again, forcing himself to read one more sentence. But it was like his brain had shut off, and heat from rage built inside his chest. _I can't fucking read this. What's the point? All of this doesn't fucking matter!  They don't care, they never cared!_ He grit his teeth and pushed his papers away from him, making a low growl. "I'm not doing it!"

"what?"

"I'm not gonna do it!" he growled from his throat

"What..?" Phil drug out

"No one can make me do it."

"Dan what are you on about?" Phil paused his game

The coils within his brain had made the decision, "That's it, I'm not going."

"Dan?"

"I've had enough I don't care anymore!" Dan's cheeks started to burn red with frustration

"Dan, what aren't you going to do?"

He puffed, "my exam" he mumbled, turning away from Phil.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not going." the words tasted bittersweet off of his tongue.

"Dan. You have to go to your resit." 

" _Not if I don't give a Fucking Fuck anymore I don't_!" He exploded, ripping up his papers and throwing his book to the floor. He punched the wall and wanted to smash glass, soon banging his hand on the coffee table, making it bounce and his wrist pulsate. 

"Dan. Dan!" Phil screamed but Dan was in his element of rage, wanting to destroy everything because it was the only power he felt he had. Phil watched him make his way to the kitchen, palming the sides of their breakfast bar, still having his back to Phil. 

The lump in his throat started to choke him, bringing the tears of agony and pain. He sobbed soon realizing what he had done. Red faced, he turned back to Phil who was standing now in the corner of the room, ripped up pieces of paper at his feet. "Oh fuck." Dan cried, finding himself on his knees gathering the papers in his hands. 

"Alright, no. Dan stop." Phil's voice grew soft, his hands gingerly patting Dan's shoulders. He shook them off and he stomped back into the kitchen lighting the kettle. He began to pace, running his fingers through his hair and nibbling on his nails, crying. "Dan talk to me"

A sob broke from his shoulders, refusing to make eye contact with his friend, "I don't want to do it." 

"What don't you want to do?" His voice was so sincere 

"I don't know." He sniffed, spit bubbling from his lips, "be a lawyer."

"Then don't be a lawyer." 

"Then how else am I supposed-" his thoughts got all jumbled; his rage had subsided. Giving in defeat, Dan lowered himself onto the floor, his head knocking against the oven. "supposed to be good." 

Phil sat next to him on the tile floor, "Good at what?"

Dan's lip quivered, following with warm tears down his cheeks, "life I guess." 

"You don't have to be a lawyer to be good at life." 

"How do I tell that to my parents? I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I just sleep, and play video games, and watch YouTube videos." Dan cried

"Well so do I." 

"But you already have gone to university Phil." 

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I know what I'm doing either." He chuckled slightly, trying to raise to mood. Spyro's pause mode burning slowly into the tv. "Are you happy Dan?"

He swallowed, "I don't know." 

"Well, what makes you happy?" 

He knew the answer to that, but he wanted Dan to say it. He sniffed through his nose and wiped his tears away, not exactly stopping them. "Playing video games, not feeling useless... Being with you." 

Phil wrapped his arm around him, drawing him closer which made him cry again, he allowed Dan's head to rest on his shoulder. The scream of the kettle being the only noise on top of the counter above them. "That's what makes me happy too." 

"I don't know what I should do." 

"Well, maybe you should take a year out, see what you want to do in that meantime, and if you want to go back you can."

Dan smiled and laughed through his nose, "But what will my parents say?"

"Who gives a damn about what your parents think?"

"I want them to be proud of me."

"And by you being a lawyer is going to help them see that?" Phil's voice grew strict, Dan shrugged his shoulders, feeling the tears brim off his nose. "Maybe you should call them and tell them how you're feeling Dan." 

"What do I say?"

"Say you want to take a year out and look at your life choices. Get a job, focus on our videos more since we're getting paid now." Phil tucked him in more, slowly rocking him to feel his comfort of optimism. 

"What if they'll get mad."

"They won't get mad." 

They sat in screams of the kettle for a while, letting Dan's breathing even out and the crying to become a minimal account. Phil still holding on to him, wanting him to feel his warmth and comfort and for it to not go away. 

"You want chocolate?" Phil suddenly asked, changing the subject to something Dan loves. 

"Okay." He accepted. 

Phil picked Dan off the floor and finally turned off the kettle. Their hands met and intertwined. Dan's face was red and swollen, bags under his eyes were puffy and his nostrils still flaring, "Thank you, Phil." He said as tears formed in his ducts again. 

Phil engulfed him into a hug, feeling the soft sobs in their embrace. He tickled lightly on his back, feeling the breathing of his upset friend wobble. 

"Go get changed, take a shower, and come finish Donkey Kong with me. I'll get you Maltesers and some hot chocolate, we'll forget about tomorrow and just have a lazy day, okay?" He wiped his tears away and cupped his face, making Dan's frown melt into a shy smile.

 Dan turned and scuttled out of the room before looking at the mess he created. When he came back the papers were all neat on the table and face down, mugs of hot chocolate and Dan's blanket in the lap of Phil's. He climbed under the blanket and opened the box of Maltesers, stuffing too many into his mouth and starting the game. They played until Dan was ready for bed, which Phil joined him. Petting his nose through the darkness and soft whispers in the night. The glow of his fairy lights and amber lamp set an orange aura, making the moment feel more warm than it already was. 

"Do I really have to tell them?"

"You should, they should know you're unhappy."

"I just don't want them to be mad at me."

"They're not going to be mad at you, why do you think that?"

Dan shrugged through the covers, "They never really supported anything I ever did, until I decided to become a lawyer, then they were thrilled."

"They were probably thrilled because they thought you knew what you wanted to do."

"But I don't..."

He closed his eyes, having his nose puff and flare again. "Hey" Phil said, making Dan look up at him. "It's okay, I'm here with you." 

"It's stupid, really." He laughed

"What?"

"That I depend on you so much for things like this. I never really experienced this before, y'know?" 

Phil propped himself up on his elbow, cupping his head in his hand, "Like what?"

Dan just shrugged, "having the warmth of a family I guess... you're lucky your parents love and support you..."

Phil sunk deeper into the sheets and entangled himself with Dan's legs, "Hey, I'm your family." 

"But Phil..."

"No, I am. You are. You're my family Dan." 

Dan's eyes became glossy again, "really?" 

"Of course! I don't care about anyone else more than I care about you." A blush fled to his cheeks. 

"Phil." 

"Really." 

"You're my family?" 

"Why can't I be? I love you." He kissed his lips softly, dragging him into the moment of peace, making his mind go numb. 

"You're my family" He chuckled a whisper, having a few stray tears fall onto the pillow. Phil wiped away one more. 

"You're _my_ family." He brought him in tight, having Dan's mess of hair under his chin. Their heartbeats syncing as one. 

Morning came and doubt settled into Dan's stomach. Phil made breakfast as the dead man rose from his bed, two hours late for his exam. 

"You can dawdle all you want, but I still think you should call them. At least your mum." 

Dan sighed, gulping down the last of his breakfast before pulling out his phone and hesitating over his mum's number. Phil took his bowl away from him and gave him a reassuring pat on the back, then he dialed. 

"Hey mum." There was excitement on the other line, Dan found himself pacing not even a sentence into the conversation. "Can I tell you something?" he began to wander through all the open doors in the flat, and then coming back into the lounge. Phil stayed in the kitchen, trying not to pry on the call. "...I've just, not been happy I guess" He nervously laughed making his rounds. "I guess you could say that... no no he's been more than help for me." He said, flashing a smile over to Phil, who mirrored it back proudly. "I've been thinking about taking a year out is all, to think about life and what I really want to do..." He wandered off again. Phil turned on the tap washing out the murmurs from the hall. Dan came back and his phone was back in his pant's pocket. 

"So?" 

"She... she was alright with it." He smiled, wriggling his fingers through his hair. 

"See I told you."

"She, she actually said something that meant a lot. 'that having a quarter life crisis now is better than being 50 and regretting your life choices'"

"That's great then!" Dan sat at the breakfast bar and exhaled a tremendous sigh. 

"Well... I guess I'm not going to school then." 

"You probably have to put in your letter of resignation but you don't have to do that yet." 

"I just feel..."

"Better?"

"Yeah. Lighter. Freer." 

Phil slapped his back again, "welcome to the real world buddy." 

"You think with this YouTube thing we can become millionaires? Maybe submit into that BBC thing again? What if we were able to work for BBC radio 1 Phil?" They shared broad smiles, moving into territory they loved to talk about. 

"Wouldn't that be the dream?" Phil said, smiling.


End file.
